Gossip Go-Round

gossip

© Jeanne E Webster All Rights Reserved

 

“Did ya hear ’bout that lil’ ole cheewawa dawg? He done went an’ nipped at Miz Smith’s cat. She had to shoo ’em away with the broom.”

“Ya don’t say!”

“Yep, he sure ’nuff did. Yes siree.”

“Did he hurt the cat a’ tall?”

“Nah, jes’ scared it a mite, is all.”

“That’s good. I’m going ta tell my maw.”

“Ok. See ya later.”

A few minutes later:

“Hey, Maw, did ya hear ’bout Miz Smith’s cat? It got chewed up pretty good by a shepherd dawg. It dang near bit its head off!”

“Ya don’t say, son! Did it hurt Miz Smith?”

“Don’t know. She brushed the dawg off with her walkin’ stick tho’. I hear she be needin’ a new one.”

“Well, my, oh my. She be mighty brave to do that. I gotta call Sally ’bout this dawg.”

“I’m late for the movie, Maw. See ya.”

“Bye. You take care now, ya hear?”

Phone dialed:

“Sally, you betta be careful when you go down Walnut Lane. There’s a rabid dawg down there, he’s biting folks right ‘n left. He done ate Mz Smith’s cat and dragged Miz Smith clean out to the street!”

“Lord almighty! I’m glad you called. I was jes’ gettin’ ready to go for my walk. I’ll jes stay home, I betta.”

“You do that, for sure. I’m gonna call Darlene and let her know ’bout it. She can pass the word up town.”

“Ok, Becky. Thanks for lettin’ me know. Bye.”

Phone redialed:

“Hello, Darlene. You betta be careful outside now, ya hear? There’s a big brown and white pit bull dawg out in the neighborhood runnin’ loose. It’s done eaten most of the cats round here and dang near made off with that lil’ Johnson boy. You betta pass the word on.”

“Yes, ma’am, I sure will. When my husband gets home, I’ll tell him. He’ll get the shotgun out and hunt it down. If I hear anything, I’ll let you know.”

A while later:

“Gee, Lester, I’m sure glad you’re home. Get your gun out; there’s a big white wolf ’round here somewhere and it’s eatin’ everything in sight! Last I heard it was draggin’ a half-growed steer down the Dry Creek Road, slobbering all the way. Everyone’s run and hid in their house!”

“Settle down now, honey. I’m sure the police are taking care of it by now. Let me call ’em and see what’s going on.”

Phone dialed:

“Hello. This is Lester Finch down on Maple Avenue. I just got home from work and my wife told me there’s a dangerous pack of wolves roaming around down by the Water Street Bridge. Have you got them under control by now?”

“There’s no report of roaming wolves in town, Sir. When was this supposed to have occurred?”

“A while ago, I’m not too sure when.”

“We haven’t had any calls about wolves at all. This morning early we had a call from Miz Smith down on Oak Street. She got into it with her neighbor’s pet Chihuahua. I guess it nipped at her cat but no harm was done. Everything is all settled down now.”

“Ok, sir. I’ll tell my wife it’s safe to go outside. Sorry about bothering you all. Someone must have made a mistake. Goodbye.”

Mom Always Said . . . (edited 70 years later!)

old mom

© 2016 Jeanne E Webster. All rights reserved and observed.

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  1. Put on clean underwear before you leave the house, in case you’re in an accident.

(Why clean underwear?  Were they going to check my underwear if I’m in an accident?)

*You were right, Mom! Now in my seventies, I HAD an accident! Gotta keep a supply of Depends now!

 

  1. Don’t put your tongue on frozen metal pipes.

(Not heeded.  Tongue stuck but not for long.  Debunked that theory.)

*I’m afraid to do this now, as I wouldn’t want to lose my dentures!

 

  1. Don’t pester hornet’s nests.

(Yep!  I messed with a yellow jacket’s nest and went “Ow, ow, ow, ow” all the way home!  They got underneath my clothes– clean ones at that.)

*I still won’t mess with these!

 

  1. Girls do not beat up boys.

(Why not?  They had it coming.  They were always troublemakers.)

*They still are! But I no longer do battle.

 

  1. Act like a lady.

(Why?  I didn’t like dresses, hats, dress shoes, skirts, petticoats—who wanted to be a lady anyway?)

*I’ve advanced to wearing Sunday-go-to-meeting attire now that I’m an old grey-haired lady.

 

  1. Eat your onions (or stuffing, parsnips, rutabagas or broccoli); they’re good for you.

(We had the healthiest dogs in the world!   Under the table they scooted at mealtimes to chow down all the yucky stuff our little fingers could gather.)

*I’m advancing in age quite rapidly, so I’ve decided I love onions, stuffing, and all that yummy stuff.

 

  1. No lipstick, makeup, nylons or shaved legs til you’re 16.  If you wear these things, you’ll look like a hussy.

(So… after I’m 16, I’ll look like a hussy?  I’d seen hussies but they didn’t look all decked out like that.)

*Now in my seventies, I have no leg hair to shave but do have an abundance of nose hairs and those chinny-chin ones!

 

  1. No dating til you’re 16.

(I was too busy playing football, wrestling, and fixing cars with boys.)

*My hubby and I generally meet at our living room recliners for a meal while watching reruns of Happy Days or the Carol Burnette Show.

 

  1. Stay away from the railroad trestle.

(Never listened to this.  My paper route went from the eastside of town to the south side, with a big river in-between.  This meant I had to go all the way downtown, cross the bridge, then head south from my eastside deliveries–or walk the trestle.  It was the way to go!  It saved 20 minutes off my time.)

*I no longer deliver newspapers in town. No way could I ever outrun that new crop of dogs!

 

  1. If someone thought enough of you to send a card or present, you should think enough of them to send a thank-you card.

(A good one, well learned.  Seems like we have lost that courtesy a long time ago.)

*Since I am a writer, there’s not too many chances to write that I don’t let slip away.

 

If you only knew, Mom!

 

A Blind Horse

horse

 

© Jeanne E Webster – All Rights Reserved

Proverbs 2

“My sons, if you will receive my words and treasure my commandments, then listen to wisdom and apply your heart to understanding it. If you cry after discernment and lift up your voice for understanding, if you seek it as silver and search for it like treasures… then you shall understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.

For the Lord gives wisdom; out of his mouth comes knowledge and understanding. He lays up sound wisdom for the righteous; he is a shield to them that walk uprightly. He keeps the paths of judgment and preserves the way of his saints.

Then you will understand righteousness, and judgment, and equity; yes, every good path. When wisdom enters into your heart, knowledge is pleasant to your soul. Discretion shall preserve you; understanding shall keep you.

It shall deliver you from the evil man: from the man that speaks perverse things, leaves the paths of righteousness to walk in the ways of darkness, rejoices to do evil and delight in the perversity of the wicked, makes crooked and devious your ways.

Wisdom will deliver you from the immoral person, even the stranger who flatters you with words; who forsakes the guidance of youth and forgets the covenant of God. That house is sinking down to death.

None that live immorally will ever be the same again. You must walk in the way of good men and keep the paths of righteous, for the upright shall dwell in the land; the blameless shall remain in it. But the wicked shall be cut off from the earth and the transgressors shall be rooted out of it.”

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Shalom, my friends: The Lord is our Shepherd, we shall not want…ever. He has given us wisdom to live righteously, if we will only listen and follow; that’s the key. We can listen but not follow; we can follow but not listen. Either way, we fail miserably.

Have you ever tried to carry on a conversation with someone who is watching television or listening to the radio or a musical recording? Impossible! If you’re patient, you may get a “huh?” response or “Wait; this is the best part.” But you’ll never get their full attention as long as their eyes and ears are tuned to alternatives.

Daily we are telling God, “Huh?” to His words of wisdom, or “Wait,” because we are too busy with more pleasurable things. We have 24 hours, one day at a time. Days fly by like snowflakes in midwinter. “Well, we always have tomorrow.” No, we will not always have tomorrow. Our days are numbered; our time is limited. Listen! Watch! Why? Your television shows are unlimited but not eternal; your music and video games are unlimited but not eternal; your “APPS” on your cell phones, IPods, Readers, video games, etc., all boast of the limitless of their offerings to you.

Buy now! Play now! Watch now! Listen now!

Do you ever wonder why they all play up the word, “NOW?” Perhaps it is because even they acknowledge that time is fleeting and will be gone one day! They want you to spend your short lifetime listening to their worthless babble and watching their decadent pictures.

Will you reach your goal of eternal life in heaven with God and our Lord Jesus by feasting on these? No!

There’s an old joke that will help illustrate this point:

A rancher raced toward home after learning his house was burning down. His horse ran so fast and long, the critter’s heart gave out and died before they reached the house. The rancher was distraught til he saw a horse trader’s cabin up ahead. Running over to the horse trader, he told him he needed a good horse fast, as his ranch was on fire. The trader showed him three horses he would sell and boasted the attributes of each one. The first one was a good horse but bucked if ridden too far. The second horse was a fair horse but would pull up lame if ridden too fast. The third horse was of excellent stock but didn’t “look’a so good.” The rancher, excited now, bought the third horse, thinking it was the best bet to get him home the quickest. “All right,” the trader said, “but remember, I told you he don’t look’a so good.” Barely listening to the end of the deal, the rancher hopped on the horse and took off like he was fired out of a cannon. All went well til the first turn in the road. Whump! The horse ran right into a big tree, knocked the rancher into the dust and keeled over and died. The horse trader came riding up and, as he dusted off the crumpled rancher, said, “I told you that that horse no look’a so good!”

Let’s not buy a blind horse, folks. Read God’s word and listen to his voice. We’ll not only get to heaven, we won’t have a fire to put out when we get there.

Shalom

Breathing Holes by Marty Kaarre

A truly interesting and inspiring devotional! In the same realm as Paul Harvey’s daily stories. Highly recommended!

Story of the Day--climbinghigher

DSCN9966

 

Marty’s book has been published and is available for sale.  It is a selected group of Story of the Day posts.  Stay tuned for ordering info coming soon, just wanted to get this posted as the books arrived late last night!  Enjoy your day!

View original post

Look’a–Hear!

 

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© Jeanne E Webster

Proverbs 2

“My sons, if you will receive my words and treasure my commandments, then listen to wisdom and apply your heart to understanding it.

If you cry after discernment and lift up your voice for understanding, if you seek it as silver and search for it like treasures… then you shall understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.

For the Lord gives wisdom; out of his mouth comes knowledge and understanding.  He lays up sound wisdom for the righteous; he is a shield to them that walk uprightly.  He keeps the paths of judgment and preserves the way of his saints.  Then you will understand righteousness, and judgment, and equity; yes, every good path.

When wisdom enters into your heart, knowledge is pleasant to your soul.  Discretion shall preserve you; understanding shall keep you. It shall deliver you from the evil man:

from the man who speaks perverse things, leaves the paths of righteousness to walk in the ways of darkness, rejoices to do evil and delight in the perversity of the wicked, makes crooked and devious your ways.

Wisdom will deliver you from the immoral person, even the stranger who flatters you with words; who forsakes the guidance of youth and forgets the covenant of God.  That house is sinking down to death.

None that live immorally will ever be the same again.  You must walk in the way of good men and keep the paths of righteous, for the upright shall dwell in the land; the blameless shall remain in it.  But the wicked shall be cut off from the earth and the transgressors shall be rooted out of it.”

+

Shalom, my friends:

The Lord is our Shepherd, we shall not want…ever.  He has given us wisdom to live righteously, if we will only listen and follow; that’s the key.  We can listen but not follow; we can follow but not listen.  Either way, we fail miserably.

Have you ever tried to carry on a conversation with someone who is watching television or listening to the radio or a musical recording?  Impossible!  If you’re patient, you may get a “huh?” response or “Wait; this is the best part.”  But you’ll never get their full attention as long as their eyes and ears are tuned to alternatives.

Daily we are telling God, “Huh?” to His words of wisdom, or “Wait,” because we are too busy with more pleasurable things.   We have 24 hours, one day at a time.  Days fly by like snowflakes in midwinter.  “Well, we always have tomorrow.”  No, we will not always have tomorrow.  Our days are numbered; our time is limited.   Listen!  Watch!

Why?

Your television shows are unlimited but not eternal; your music and video games are unlimited but not eternal; your “APS” on your cell phones, iPods, Readers, video games, etc., all boast of unlimited offerings to you.  Buy now!  Play now!  Watch now!  Listen now!  Do you ever wonder why they all play up the word, “NOW?”  Perhaps it is because even they acknowledge that time is fleeting and will be gone one day!  They want you to spend your short lifetime listening to their worthless babble and watching their decadent pictures.  Will you reach your goal of eternal life in heaven with God and our Lord Jesus by feasting on these?  No!

There’s an old joke that will help illustrate this point:

A rancher raced toward home after learning his house was burning down.  His horse ran so fast and long, the critter’s heart gave out and died before they reached the house.  The rancher was distraught til he saw a horse trader’s cabin up ahead.  Running over to the horse trader, he told him he needed a good horse fast, as his ranch was on fire. 

The trader showed him three horses he would sell and boasted the attributes of each one.  The first one was a good horse but bucked if ridden too far.  The second horse was a fair horse but would pull up lame if ridden too fast.  The third horse was of excellent stock but didn’t “look’a so good.”

The rancher, excited now, bought the third horse, thinking it was the best bet to get him home the quickest.  “All right,” the trader said, “but remember, I told you he don’t look’a so good.” 

Barely listening to the end of the deal, the rancher hopped on the horse and took off like he was fired out of a cannon.  All went well til the first turn in the road.  Whump!  The horse ran right into a big tree, knocked the rancher into the dust and keeled over and died. 

The horse trader came riding up and, as he dusted off the crumpled rancher, said, “I told you that that horse no look’a so good!”

Let’s not buy a blind horse, folks.  Read God’s word and listen to his voice.  We’ll not only get to heaven, we won’t have a fire to put out when we get there.

Shalom

 

     

Superstitious…Nah!

 

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Friday Morning-Coming Down

© Jeanne E Webster

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Enjoying a swing on the patio

Sitting in our little “Rose Garden”

Looking at that pale blue sky

Rain’s a no-show, I’ll pardon

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Blurred with white chalky scrapes

Overhead is a see-through image

Last night’s leftover half-moon

Must ’a lost the rest in scrimmage

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Hummingbirds all a’ squeak

A winged rush hour traffic jam

Zooming like mad robotic bees

Deftly loving the ambrosial jamb

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Gum trees shake off their sleep

Casting shade all over the hills

Cicada males not yet awake

Dreaming of their mating shrills

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Melodious call of an oriole male

Not yet sipping of my nectar

Crepe myrtle in fuchsia regalia

Rose petals, the sun rays detector

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A blue jay is squaring off afar

Probably out protecting his mate

Neighborhood roosters a’ crowing

Pleased that the night did vacate

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A dull thumping of railroad cars

Mulishly moving down the tracks

Loaded with sooty coal, I guess

Heading up north, a’ clickity-clack

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A hummer just flew past my nose

Stopped on a dime then returned

Saw my bright red shirt, I reckon

Inching closer, drooled and yearned

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Ready to propel even closer now

Till I uttered, “I don’t think so!”

Off it flew with a squeak and snip,

In a blaze of its slinky chapeau

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Bathed my two Cavalier Spaniels

Got my front end as wet as they

But I can’t run around the yard

And shake off and loudly bray

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Certainly I knew I had better not

What would the neighbors think?

An old lady romping with dogs

Surely needs to visit a shrink

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But when those baths are done

Oh, to become a little girl again

I’d chase my tail and play dog

Bark and run after the mailmen

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I’d dance the day away… maybe

But I’m afraid this tired ole body

Would give out fast and furious

Put me to bed with a hot toddy

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My knees would grate and grit

My hips would start to grumble

The hard ground would beckon

And I’d surely take a tumble

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But jes’ for the tiniest moment

I would be all tickled and pink

For I’d soon be soaring home

In just about forty odd winks!