Are You Ok?

©Jeanne E Webster


Psalm 139:14 “You are fearfully and wondrously made.” 


Who were your heroes when you were growing up?  Did you wish upon a star… want to be like them?  A few of my heroes/heroines were:  Roy Rogers and Dale Evans, Annie Oakley, Gene Autry, the Lone Ranger, Davey Crockett, Clara Barton, Albert Schweitzer, Superman and more. My all-time favorite heroine was my grandmother.   She was nice, loving, good, kind, clean, and the best person I ever met.

My search for life’s purpose ran the gamut from a 4-year-old wanting to be a horse, a 7-year-old believing she could fly like Superman, a 10-year-old wanting to be an Indian, a teenager wanting to go to Africa and join Albert Schweitzer in bringing Christ to the natives, a high school graduate aspiring to become a nurse.  These heroes/heroines registered in my innocent mind as being wholesome, good, and as close to perfection as a person could get, and that ideal fed my very soul.

Life has a way of bursting your bubble…and mine burst shortly after graduation.  My innocence was shattered when I became a young adult, and my idols fled the scene as quietly and quickly as dust on a wind struck prairie.  The real tragedy was that I had let myself down; I had failed that inner sanctum we all have deep within our souls, the untouchable sacred room where all is holy and good.   All was no longer well with my soul.  I guess you would call it growing up.  And I did not like the feeling.

For years I rebelled inwardly, trying to get back to the innocent age, the squeakee clean feeling that was sort of like your compass, showing you the way.  I found the way, after becoming a wife and mother, a divorcee, a new marriage, and a widow.  I met a man called Jesus…and He touched me and made me whole. 

Jesus “got a hold on me,” and I will never be the same again.  He has replaced my anger and bitterness towards myself, for making so many mistakes, with such loving assurance that I am ok…and loved…no matter what.  Oh, thank you, Lord.  I am what I started out to be, “a child of the King!”  Amen and amen.